Actually, she has become so focused on school and theater that she as basically stopped.

Justin, I’m so sorry that you and your wife going through this. I would highly recommend that the two of you get into couples counseling with a Marriage & Familty Therapist or Psychologist who specializes in treating eating disorders. You can find one at EDReferral.
If your wife refuses, explain to her that this is for you to help you cope with her eating disorder because you don’t know how to handle it. If she still refuses, I would encourage you to go alone and talk to someone. Your wife’s bulimia is not your fault and sadly, you cannot fix it. She’s the only one who can take the initiative to do that. What you can do is tell her that you love her and that you’re there for her. You can tell her how hard it is to watch her suffer. You can tell her how scared you are that you are going to lose her. You can tell her that you will do anything to support her. You can ask her what she needs and how you can be there for her. By being honest about your feelings and talking to her in “I” statements (I feel scared/sad/nervous…etc.) and allowing yourself to be vulnerable and your feelings to be heard, you allow your wife to be less defensive. She then has the freedom to talk about what she’s feeling without being afraid of being chastised or forced to do something that she doesn’t want to.

Hi Steven, I would suggest that you and your girlfriend see a family counselor who specializes in treating eating disorders for a psychoeducation session. This way she or he can help you to understand more about what your girlfriend is going through and your girlfriend can express her specific needs to you so that you can give her the help that she needs and you can take care of yourself in a healthful way. Often it’s hard for partners because they feel as though they are losing themselves while trying to save their loved one. It’s important that you talk to someone yourself in order not to lose yourself into her ED. Check out ED referral to find someone in your area who can give and your girlfriend some individual attention.